I’m not here to just rattle off complaints or to bore you with some unending rant; however, I’m going to rattle off a whole bunch of complaints and rant about something that is rage inducing, although, in light current events, trivial. I’m going to talk about the MTA and all of its glory.

The Metropolitan Transit Authority, if you are lucky enough to be unaware of its existence, is the transit company that runs the famous or infamous New York City subway system. While the trains and the system are incredibly convenient, the MTA are a bunch of assholes. Remember back in high school, when you were sitting in that boring history class (your opinion, not mine) and you learned about all of those tycoons. Now, recall all of the shady as fuck shit that they use to do…thats what the MTA is on nowadays*.

This past weekend, the MTA greeted New Yorkers with a riddle that could rival the Sphinx’s offered to Oedipus:

If the F train is currently running on the D line due to construction,

But the D train is running on the F line due to construction

And sometimes the R line in Manhattan,

How does one get to East Broadway?

The answer was simple: you don’t. Why, cause fuck you.

Two whole train lines were running as shuttles, which would be cool if they did not run on traffic heavy streets. So your 15 minute ride, it’s now an hour! Why, cause fuck you.

Furthermore, these chuckleheads have the audacity to announce that they are raising the fare again. I feel like an old timer saying this, but when I first started riding the trains, we were pissed at $0.25 increase. The price has been raised an additional $1.50 from that time. Why $3.00, because you can go fuck yourself.

Now, I know they are providing a service that is massive in scale and I know that the subway system is in desperate need of repairs. I respect that and honestly am a little impressed. However, can you please not do everything at the same time MTA. Like my dude, how many trains need to be out of commission to keep this city functioning. You guys are wildin.

Moral of the Story: We could always just drive, but whats the point of living the unlimited lifestyle then?

*Note from Bryan: Speaking of shady ass activity, shout out our new management company who has robbed us of gas and running water for weeks after moving into this new apartment. Fuckyocouch EPP Management.